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This text has been proofread but is not guaranteed to be free from errors. Corrections to the original text have been left in place.
Title: The Lost Lover; or, The Jealous Husband. A Comedy, an electronic edition
Author: Manley, Mary de la Riviere
Publisher: Printed for R. BentlyF. SaudnersJ. Knapton, and R. Wellington
Place published: 
Date: 1696
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THE
LOST LOVER;
OR, THE
Jealous Husband:
A
COMEDY.
As it is Acted at the
THEATRE ROYAL
BY
His MAJESTY's Servants.
Written by Mrs. Manley.
LONDON,Printed for R. Bentley, in Covent Garden; F. Saunders, in the New Exchange;
J. Knapton, and R. Willington, in St. Pauls's Church-Yard. MDCXCVI.THE
PREFACE.This Comedy by the little success it met with in the Acting, has not at all
deceived my Expectations; I had ever so great a Distrust, and so impartial
an opinion, that nothing but the flattery of my Friends (and them, one
would imagine, Men of too much Sense to be so grossly mistaken, and without
whose perswasion I never designed publishing of it) cou'd in the least have
held me in suspence of its good or evil Fortune: and to confess my faults,
i own it an unpardonable one; to expose, after two years reflection, the
Follies of seven days, (for barely in that time this Play was wrought) and
my self so great a Stranger to the Stage, that I had lived buried in the
Countrey, and in the six foregoing years, had actually been but twice at
the House. The better half was
cut;
cut; They say 'that suffered by it, tho' they told me, 'twas possible to
have too much of a good thing, but I think never too little of an ill.That knowledge I had of the Town was the gentile part, which does not
always afford Diverting Characters; My design in Writing was only to pass
some tedious country hours, not imagining I should be so severely repay'd.
I now know my Faults, and will promise to mend them by the surest way, not
attempting to repeat them.I am now convinc'd Writing for the Stage is no way proper for a Woman, to
whom all Advantages but meer Nature, are refused; If we happen to have a
Genius to Poetry, it presently shoots to a fond desire of Imitation. Tho'
to be lamely ridiculous, mine was indulged by my Flatterers, who said,
nothing cou'd come from me unentertaining: like a Hero not contented with
Applause from lesser Conquests, I find my self not only disappointed of my
hopes of greater, but even to have lost all the glory of the former; Had I
confin'd my sense, as before, to some short Song of Phillis, a Tender
Billet, and the freedom of agreeable Conversation, I had still preserved
the Character of a Witty Woman.Give
Give me leave to thank the Well-natur'd Town for Damning me so suddenly;
They would not suffer me to linger in suspence, nor allow me any degrees of
Mortification; neither my Sex, Dress, Musick and Dancing, cou'd allow it a
three Days Reprieve, nor the Modesty of the Play it self, prevail with the
Ladies to Espouse it: Here I should most justly reproach my self, if I did
not make all due Acknowledgements for Sir Thomas Skipwith's Civility, his
Native Generosity, and Gallantry of Temper, took care nothing on his part
shou'd be wanting to make it pleasing.Once more, my Offended Judges, I am to appear before you, once more in
possibility of giving you the like Damning Satisfaction; there is a Tragedy
of mine Rehearsing, which 'tis too late to recall, I consent it meet with
the same Fortune: 'Twill for ever rid me of a Vanity too Natural to our
Sex, and make me say with a Grecian Hero, I had been lost, if I had not
been lost.They Object the Verses wrote by me before Agnes de Castro, where, with
Poetick Vanity I seemed to think my self a Champion for our Sex; some of my
Witty Critticks make a Jest of my proving so favourable an Enemy, but let
me tell them, this was not design'd a Consequence of that Challenge, being
writ two years
before 
before, and cannot have a Smaller Share in their Esteem than mine: After
all, I think my Treatment much severer than I deserved; I am satisfied the
bare Name of being a Woman's Play damn'd it beyond its own want of Merit: I
will conclude with Dionysius, 'That Plato and Philosophy have taught me to
bear so great a Loss (even of fame) with Patience.ProloguePROLOGUE,
Spoken by Mr. Horden.The first Adventurer for her fame I stand,The Curtain's drawn now by a Lady's Hand,The very Name you'l cry boads Impotence,To Fringe and Tea they shou'd confine their Sence,And not outstrip the bounds of Providence.I hope then Criticks, since the Case is so,You'l scorn to Arm against a Worthless Foe,But curb your Spleen and gall, and trial make,How our fair Warriour gives her First Attack.Now all ye chattering Insects straight be dumb,The Men of Wit and Sense are hither come,Ask not this Mask to Sup, nor that to showSome Face more ugly than a Fifty beau,Who, if our Play succeeds, will surely say,Some private Lover helpt her on her way,As Female Wit were barren like the Moon,That borrows all her influence from the Sun.The Sparks and Beaus will surely prove our Friends,For their good Breeding must make them commendWhat Billet Deux so e're a Lady sends.She knew old Thread bare Topicks would not do,But Beaus a Species thinks it self still new,And therefore she resolved to Coppy you.EpilogueEPILOGUE,
Spoken by Miss Cross.Kind hearted City Wives, if any here,Was not Olivia's Virtue too severe,To baulk your expectation at that time,Kind tender Citts would be a Mortal Crime;Our Gallants were undone, shou'd you but proveHer Apes in Virtue, as you'r theirs in Love.But for our Poetess--Lard, no Virgin everResigned so bashfully her darling Treasure,She sweats and reddens, then turns pale for fear,See what disorders you can give the Fair;Shou'd I ask ne're so much to make you kind,You'd damn or pitty as ye are inclin'd,Tho' each in private wou'd be sworn her Lover,Scarce one true Friend the Publick will discover.Our Beau was writ at least two years ago,See how rank Weeds in Foppish Countreys grow,Now so Diminutive a Spark, alas,He scarce can serve to shew you what he was;Shou'd the next two increase as these have done,The Babel Beau might hope to touch the Sun.Did but sound Sense and Reason thrive as fast,The Coming Age might profit by the past.CharactersPersons Represented.Sir Rustick Good-Heart, an Ill-bred Country gentleman, Mr. Johnson.
Wilmore, his Son, Mr. Verbrugen.
Wildman, his Friend, Mr. Horden.
Sir Amorous Courtall, Mr. Powell.
Smyrna, a Turkey-Merchant, Mr. Cibber.
Pulse, a Physitian, M. Penkethman.
Knowlittle, a fortune-teller, Mr. Haynes.
Timothy, his Man,
Ready, servant to Wildman,
WOMEN.
WOMEN.
Lady Young-Love, an Old Vain Conceited lady, Mrs. Kent.
Marina, her Daughter, Mrs. Rogers.
Belira, Secret Mistress to Wilmore, Mrs. Knight.
Orinda, an Affected Poetess, Mrs, Cibber.
Olivia, Smyrna's Wife, Mrs. Verbrugen.
Isabella, Woman to Lady Young-Love, Mrs. Cole.
Phaebe, Olivia's Maid, Mrs. Mills.
Page.
Servants.
SCENE in London.Act ITHE
Lost Lover, &c.ACT I. SCENE 1.The Lady Young-Love's House
Enter Wildman and Ready.Wild. I'll stay here till Mr. Wilmore comes in; do you go and see what's to
be done at Old Smyrna's; Deliver this Letter to Mrs. Phebe, for her Lady:Ready. thou dost not want Arguments to corrupt a Waiting Woman's' Fidelity,
all the difficulty lies in Olivia's nicety. but I should have reason to
have an ill Opinion of my self if I don't prevail, when I've a Friend in
her Bosom that speaks for me, and only an old jealous Husband to oppose me.Ready. Mrs. Phebe says Madam Olivia has the same kindness for you as before
she was Married; but her Husband is so Jealous of her, he won't suffer her
out of his sight Day nor Might.Wild. Poor Olivia; Thy Beauty nor Merit cou'd not make thee happy, since
Fortune was wanting in her favours: Thy Father buried thee in a Rich Old
Merchant's arms, and 'tis my part to try to revive thee in mine.Exeunt severally.

Enter
Enter Marina, and Belira, Marina in a Travailing Dress.Bel. Without repeating further Welcome to you: My Dear Marina, How have you
spent your time in the Country?Mar. 'Twas rough cast, and hung heavily upon every Spoke; neither Park,
Play, nor Basset table, to call rugged Time along; sometimes indeed, when
disburthen'd London, wanted new Air and Complection for her Female
Inhabitants, I had the Diversion of seeing how well they could relish
Country Sparks, after being cloyd with Town Beaux.Bel. Nature is no Idler; the Fruitful Dame loves Employment; but pray what
cou'd she find out in your part of the World, for nice, well-dress'd
distinguishing Town Ladies.Mar. The thing with all the World, is being pleas'd, not who pleases; my
pretty young Lady Mode, her Lord leaving her in a Barren, wild unfurnish'd
World of Sparks, cast her Eyes upon so near a Relation of his, that she
mistook the West County for Flanders, when undistinguishing Night had
reduc'd the Sense of Seeing, into that of Touching.Bel. Doubtless some believe it a Satisfaction, to prove the Difference
between Town-Art and Country-Nature; but how does Mrs. Conceit?Mar. I sent a handsome Footman of Mine, to make her a Compliment, and she
interrupted him in the midst, to tell him he had a Pretty Mouth, which
cou'd be better employ'd, than in delivering his Ladies Message.Bel. But what of that Ill natur'd, False, pretended piece of Virtue, my
Lord Rural's second Daughter.Mar. Married, long since; found a fool to uphold her ill Nature in railing
at Mankind, and cloak her Pleasure in using them.Bel. She did my brother the Honour of taking that foolish Toy a Maiden head
from him; he courted her for a Wife, and she wantonly ask'd him if they
cou'd not love without Marrying.Mar. Since that, she granted her favours in an open Calash, whilst her
Husband drove it.Bel. 'Twas the boldest bravest Lover I ever heard of.Mar. The Glory is due to her; for when he objected her Husband, she said
his back had been turned a thousand Minutes, and 'twas hard if Fortune
wou'd not take care securely to allow her one of them.Bel. Yet none pretends more to Virtue, not will sooner swear her Neighbours
wants in Uncharitableness to others; and count it as a certain Mark of
Defect in our selves.Mar. But all this time I forget; where's my Mother.Bel. Gone to an Indian-House with young Wilmore, her Spouse that [?] will be
to chuse Velvet for new Furniture, she means every thing ???? be as Gay and
Inviting as her Lover.Mar. How can it enter into a Womans head of fifty, to look back upon a
Young Fellow of Twenty, whose first contrivance will be how to get rid of
her, her Money excepted, and that once secur'd she may ?much? ?off? with
what separate maintainance he is pleas'd to allow her, and be contented to
starve all her life after, for having once made too ?large? a Feast.Bel. If I mistake not, she intrudes a little upon your right; you have not
lost all your inclination for Mr. Wilmore.Mar. They indeed prepare me towards making him a very Obedient Dutiful
Daughter-in-Law.Bel. Well, Well spare your Modesty a farther Confession and let you know to
morrow is the Wedding-day, but there's a Misfortune untold to you, nor
cou'd your imaginaation guess at it, Sir Rustick Goodheart has got my Lady
Young Loves consent for Marrying you.Mar. I see absence has not made my Mother better natur'd; but if she plays
the fool, I shall be wiser then to imitate her; besides, mine wou'd be so
much worse, as an Old Man is always less inviting than a Young.Bel. Mr. Wilmore has shew'd himself so generous, that till you were sent
for he refused to Marry your Mother, and then too but conditionally she
should secure your Fortune to your self.Mar. 'Tis surprising a Father-in-Law; but is he in Love with her, (for I
can wonder at nothing) or the Match imposed by his Father, for his Age
scarce allows him to know the Value of Money enough to part with his
darling Liberty for it.Bel. She has made advances to him beyond belief, his good breeding received
them Civily; whereupon she has forgot nothing that cou'd make her less
Ugly, though Age did not fail to o'er top it all; Nature here was so unkind
a Mistress, as to prevail in spight of Art.Mar.I shou'd never have guess's other; for when we are once arrived to a
certain Point of time, we may e'en lay aside Pig-water, Patches and Curls,
and be contented with less Admiration, so we meet but with more Esteem; but
if he loves her not, what can provoke him to Marry her.Bel. Gratitude and a Necessitous Fortune; besides she has almost purchased
him with rich presents, which has more Eloquence in them than all the Old
Womens Tongues in England.Mar. Presents! Sure you forget your self.Bel. I know what I say; besides, where have you liv'd not to know, Money
speaks for an Old woman, when her Eyes no longer can: But to entertain you
till my Lady Young-Love comes in, my Page shall sing you the last new Song.SONG.Ah Dangerous Swain, tell me no moreThy Happy Nymph you Worship and Adore;When thy fill'd Eyes are sparkling at her Name,I raving wish that mine had caus'd the Flame.If by your fire to her you can impartDiffusive heat to warm another's heart:Ah dangerous Swain, what wou'd the ruine be,shou'd you but once persuade you burn for me.Enter Lady Young Love, Wilmore.Lady Young.Bid the Coach set up, and let the things be brought in here. My
Daughter come! God Bless you!Mar. I am o'er joy'd to see your Ladyship, and to see you look so well.Wil. Your Ladiships most humble Servant. [Salutes her.Lady Young. Belira, How do you like these figur'd Velvets; this I design
for the Bed and Hangings; this Violet colour suits agreeably with this
Buff.Bel. Most extreamly well, Madam; does your Ladiship design a Mixture?L. Young. I had thoughts of Paining and Bordering it with this Crimson and
Green, but that sort of Furniture has been my aversion, ever since I saw my
odious Lady Junkers Appartment set forth with Scotch Plad and Damask.Bel. aside] Confusion! How his Eyes are fix'd on her, as if his Soul
received her Charms, and wanted pow'r to hide it!L. Young. I don't look well to day, Mr. Wilmore. [Looks in her GlassWil. Your Ladiship can never look other.L. Young. Belira, thou won't flatter me; I have not red enough had I?Mar. aside] But from the Eyes to the Chin, and looks like the Raddle upon a
Sheep's Back.Bel. Your Ladiship is mistaken, I never saw you look better; there's a Curl
indeed out of order with the motion of the Coach; Hold, incline you Head:
So, very will, that Pink-colour'd Riband suits agreeably with your
Complexion.L. Young. But do you really think, Mr. Wilmore, I look so well to Day.Mar. He has reason to hope Madam, that your Ladiship may look better to
morrow Night.L Young. Have you catch'd hold of that report, who made you so wise?Mar. Him that is to make your Ladiship so happy.L. Young. Indeed, Indeed, Mr. Wilmore, It derogates from you to talk with
Girls. I had a Mother, I durst never think of approaching her without Fear
and Trembling. Now a Young thing as soon as ever she has bid farewell to
Bib and Aprons, is ready for a Love, and thinks her self with Noise and
Impudence, better to be liked then her Mother with all her Experience.Enter Page.Page. Sir Rustick Goodheart desires to know if your Ladiship be at leisure.L. Young. Always to him; I shall be glad of his Company; Daughter, I have
taken that care of your Fortune, as deceives not the Trust my late Lord
reposed in me, Sir Rustick Goodheart and I, have agreed upon your Marriage;
my Authority secures your Consent.Mar. Marriage, Madam, is a thing I have not thought on, y? 'tis a Journey
for Life, and that once consider'd, we ought to do every thing to make it
as easie to us as possible.Enter Sir Rustick Good-Heart, WildmanL. Young. Sir Rustick, your Servant; where have you been since dinner?Sir Rustick. Be Dad, taking a Glass t this pretty Lay's health, Madam your
ServantWild. Your most humble Servant. [They salute her.
Wilmore, a very pretty Lady.Wil. I cou'd think so to, if 'twere not of the latest.Sir Rustick. Give me thy Hand sweet heart, thou'rt welcome to Town, be Dad
with all my heart.L. Young. What think you of a Walk in the Garden, the Lovers are engag'd,
and we wou'd leave them together.Wil. We wait upon you.[Manet Sir Rustick and Mar.Sir Rustick. Which dost thou like best, my Dear, the town or Country.Mar. The Town, Sir, beyond Comparison, all good Judges are of my Opinion, I
hope you are one of them.Sir Rustick. Before George, not I, yet if it had not been for me you had
been there still; I persuaded my Lady to send for you up and have provided
a Husband for thee, Girl, what say'st thou to a Husband, Heigh.Mar. 'Tis a sort Creature, has not yet fallen under my Consideration.Sir Rustick. all in good time, Child; I like thee ne'er the worse for that.
You don't look like the forward things of the town, that Marries a Man only
to Cuckold him; Ods bobs thou wilt not do that, I hope, Child.Mar. I don't understand you, Sir.Sir Rustick. Come we will be better acquainted, and then thou ?may
understand me, heigh: to say truth, the way of making Cuckolds is soon
understood.Mar. Pray, Sir, at once forgive, and satisfie my curiosity, have you spent
your time mostly in the Town or Country.Sir Rustick. Be dad, Child, the Country, I never come to London but in
tines of Parliament, which thank Heaven were not very frequent in our late
Reigns; do I look like your Sickly Londoners, the dregs of nothing but Pox
and Wine, Hemh,---- Hemh,---- show me any young Fellow of them all, that
can match me in Health and Vigour; neither Stone, nor Gout, nor the relicts
of any Distemper, but love of thee, Child.Mar. Love of me, sure you mistake you self, one wou'd have imagin'd it any
other under the Sun at your Age.Sir Rustick. Why there, be dad you'r out, there';s none Lovers but us old
Fellows, the young ones don't think it worth their time; shew me such
another as Old Sir Fair-Love Fondling, why Child he does nothing but look
Babies in her Eyes all day, but bedad, I believe he sees but in
Imagination, unless he borrows the assistance of Spectacles: He sets her,
before George, in a great Chair in the very middle of a Chamber, and
himself fro hours together at her Feet, upon a foot-stool, in admiration of
her; there's encouragement now.Enter BeliraBel. My Lady Young-Love and her Counsel are in the Parlor, Sir looking over
the Writings, she desires your Company.Sir Rustick. I come, I come; Sweet Mistriss your Servant, till I see thee
again.[Exit Sir Rustick.Bel. I came Marina to your deliverance, I imagin'd how you were teiz'd.Mar. O hideous! Belira, did I think in Nature, there had been such an ill
bred, awkard thing; why he's so great a Monster already, Horns can't make
him worse.Bel. and yet my Lady Young-Love says you must Marry him.Mar. What with twelve thousand Pound, a great deal of youth, no
contemptible stock of Beauty, besides an untainted Reputation, that our
weighs them all; believe me, Belira, I'm not so far ignorant of my own
worth, to bury it in him.Bel. I wish you don't ruine your self by the Refusal.Mar. That Marriage is the greatest, and you must use all your Interest with
my Mother to prevent it; or resolve to make me the most unhappy Creature
breathing.Bel. All aids that are in my power you may command: but has not your
Journey tir'd you, you will not be for the Park this Evening.Mar. The Name has unweary'd me; I'll but change my Cloahts and be ready for
you.Bel. My Lady Young-Love had tir'd poor Wilmore; he has left her to her
Bonds and Conveyances, and is gone to the Park before; wou'd not you wish
to meet him there?Mar. Why thy question? He is my Mothers, and never can be mine; but we
trifle: will you favour me with your Company, whilst I am Dressing?Bel. I'll follow you.[exit Marina.Yes, Marina, my Interest pulls too strong against you, to leave you a
Moment to your self till I have put it out of Fortunes power to injure me,Who trusts the fawning Jilt, must first believe,
I trust her not, and cannot be deceive'd.[exit Omnes.Act IIACT II. Scene I.St. James's Park.
Enter Smyrna and Olivia.Smy. Pray Gentlewoman be pleased to wear your mask till we're got out of
this Road of Foppery. I had better have gone Ten Miles about.Oliv. Lord, Mr. Smyrna, 'tis so hot, my Mask stifles me; but where are you
going? I am sure Walking is not your Business, especially in this place.Smy. Yes, Wife, to ?, that you may have the pleasure of comparing your old
damned Jealous Husband, to these Gay stuttering Fops, that fall along by
us; here's your Gallant, Mr. Wildman, coming, put on your Mask I say; Not
for the Worth I warrant you.Enter Wildman.Oliv. 'Tis too late, he has seen me, Husband, 'twill be uncivil.Wild. Mr. Smyrna, your Servant; The fair Olivia here! Since when is it,
since you have been so far reconciled to our lewd end of the world, to
trust this Lady amongst us.Smy. Hum, Sir, not too much of trusting neither, but yet, as you say, 'tis
a dangerous place, for an old Fellow, that has a Handsom Wife; Have not you
that opinion of her, Mr. Wildman?Wild. All the World must allow her that Character, but faith, my Friendship
to you hinders me to think of her as I would, if she were not thy wife.Smy. And you, forsooth, Have not you a just esteem of Mr. Wildman's Merit?Oliv. As I ought, I know my Duty to you, Husband, and never had a thought
against it.Smy. Why, very well, since you are both so indifferent, 'twere no great
harm, if you never see one another again. As to you, Gentlewoman, 'tis
Mortifying you too much, to suffer the Visits of a Man, who has not Sense
to know your Worth; And, let me tell you Mr. Wildman, I Love my Wife, and
don't like People that slight her Charms, and prefer my Friendship to her
Beauty, therefore till you come better prepared to do her justice, your
Visits will be but offensive, and if ever you make another, I shall
conclude you have taken a Friends advice. Come, wife,Ex. Smy. and Oliv.Wild. Go thy ways, for an old Jealous, I wish be gad, i could say, Cuckold,
but my honest Endeavours shall not be wanting to make thee, that thou
believest thy self.Enter Wilmore.Wil. Thank God for my deliverance, I'm got into the open Air again, without
the incumberance of an old Woman, who is not satisfied, unless you confine
your Eyes to the Curse of meeting none but hers.Wild. If thou art weary already, what wilt thou be when the Noose is fixt,
and no kind relieving Hand can do thee the curtesy of unslipping it.Wil. I confess, I have given the Town reason to believe, I cou'd allow MAy
and December the two ends of time, to meet in one expected Wedlock.Wild. The Opinion of thy sense was not forfeited by that, we always
believed, thou hadst enough to distinguish between the glittering Metal and
the Allay; But are you not resolved to Marry my Lady Young-Love.Wil. So far from it, that I wou'd run my self into any other Noose in
Christendom, to avoid hers, Marina is the Goddess here; You have doubtless
heard her Father left her a Fortune of 12000l. on Condition she Married
with my Lady Young-Love's Consent, else Shame and Beggery to be her
Portion.Wild. That any Man shou'd be so far wedded to the Follies of his Wife to
desire the entailing of them upon his posterity.Wil. I have held a long Age of Dissimulation with her Mother to permit her
return to Town, and get her Fortune secured,
engaged my Father with the hopes of marrying her, and doubtless, I should
prevail over the old Lady, if it were not for another; but this is the
hardest part of my Confession, for I think, whatsoever Custom can persuade,
that Man's a Villain, who boasts a Lady's Favour.Wild. Begad, if our Town Ladies come to know how well thou art principled,
thou mayst e'en make thy own Markets amongst them, 'tis not to be matched
in thy green years, which commonly reckons the pleasure of telling as the
foremost delight in an Amour.Wil. I am not Beau enough for that yet. To be short then, Belaris who you
know lives with, and governs my Lady Young-Love, did me the honour to like
me, and I had reason to believe my self Master of her first Favours, I
con'd not shake off her fondness, tho' all mine was secretly addrest to
Marina. for whose sake I was forced to disserable with Beliria.Wild. begad that was slavery enough, for the trouble of getting handsomely
rid of a Mistress, is ten times more than what it costs to make her such.Wil. She catch'd the discovery from my Eyes, and unknown to Marina
perswaded her Mother to send her into the Country, then to confound me
further, the old Lady grew fond of me, Beliria putting it into her Head
that I wou'd Marry her, by which means, she constantly secured her self of
seeing me, being in the same House, and reasonably thought, the interest
she had in my Heart ran no hazard by bestowing my person upon an old Woman.Wild. Then how comes it she has suffered Marina to return, for I perceive
she managt ? pleasure.Wil. 'Twas conditionally, I married my Lady Young-Love tomorrow, and
consented that Marina should be bestowed upon my Father.Wild. And how do you think to evade either.Wil. 'Tis for that reason I make this discovery to engage your assistance,
Belira will not suffer her to sign for her daughters Portion, till the
moment of Execution, but my present uneasiness is to entertain Marina, I
have ordered Musick and Dancing after Supper, if possible engage Belira in
your Affairs, that she may not concern her self with mine.Wild. You have ordered your own without considering my applications to
Belira may ruine me with Orinda.Wil. Quite contrary, that Coquet never likes a Man so well as when he does
not seem to be fond of her, trust my opinion, besides 'twere no Obligation
if you did not run a little hazard for your Friend.Wild. You shall command me, and now I consider, I'le bring Sir Amorous
Courtall, who is fop enough, to think all Women that have fine Cloths
Beauties, him I design for the old Lady, if she shou'd happen to like him
'twere no ill way of getting rid of her.Wil. That will be admirable, but be sure ply Belira close, she's handsom
enough to reward your pain, and because of her interest with my Lady
Young-Love, the only Enemy I can apprehend,--They are come into the Walls,
we'll meet them at the next turn.Enter Marina and Belira; meeting Orinda they salute.Ori. Your Lad'ships most joyful humble Servant, you'r welcome to Town; how
long have you done it the honour to grace it with your presence.Mar. But to day, Madam, I'm pleased at the good fortune of meeting you so
soon.Ori. Belira your Servant, O Gud I've been at the Play-house, where there
has been the odiousest Play, so dull, that o' my Conscience, I shan't abide
to set my foot in it again this Twelve Month. [Take snuff this time.Bel. I believe there was very little Company there this Weather; how come
you prefer that diversion to Hide-Park?Ori. O Gud, you may very well ask Belira, for 'twas no choice pf mine, an
Alderman's Wife and daughter did me the displeasure to Dine with me and
press'd me beyond decency to go with them; O Jesu, what a vexation 'tis to
be with those precise sort of people, that wou'd not go out of their Road,
tho' to be less odious.Mor. They were famously set out, I warrant you.Ori. O most unsuitably, the very sight of their Trappings wou'd have made
you died of heat, of all things I hate Winter Cloaths in Summer, what say
you Belira?Bel. That there are a sort of people that think Finery never out of season.Orin. Lard, Marina, I finish't a Copy of verses last night, which I have
sent to half a score of my Friends for their approbation. i bestow'd the
last upon admirable Sir Amorous Courtal, but I'le send you one of them.Mor. You'l not fail.Ori. Lard, Madam, what do you take me for? belira must come in too for a
Judge.Bel. Pray, what was the Subject?Mor. I know none so Entertaining as her self.Ori. O, Madam, your most gracious Servant, 'twas upon the different
Addresses I have had made to me of late; o Jesu, such a glut of Foppery and
Mankind; i long to breath a little of the Country Air, that I may get rid
of this Town Lumber, and entertain my Muse alone with the reflections of
what she has left behind.Mor. But, who is that Sir Amorous Courtal, he's sprung up since my reign.Ori. O Gud, a very pretty Gentleman, Marina, so Airy, so well Drest, so
Handsom.Bel. See how Opinions differ, if you'l take mine, Marina, he's the most out
cast Fop in Nature, he once made the Champagne, but all he remembers of it,
is running to Breda, which has given him fears enough to keep at home all
his life after.Mar. Orinda, Will you favor me with your Company to night, we have Musick
and Dancing.Ori. I'le wait upon you anon, 'tis my Lady Junket's Visiting day, and she'l
never pardon me, if I omit my Devoir.Bel. O, that old Gossipping thing. she'l never have lost the relish of
youth, but wishes so well too't, she'l bring young loving things together
in spight of their Hearts.Ori. Fye Beliria, Gude I hate you, for being so censoroius, because she
allows the freedom of her Apartment to Quality of both sexes; A Lady of her
age can't be friendly or fo, but presently she is thought procurish.Bel. O, very friendly, and then so grateful, one treat shall make her yours
all her life after.Enter Sir Amorous Courtal, Wildmore, and Wildman.Wil. Ladies, your humble servant, 'tis a delicate Evening.Mar. Sir, your Servant, see Beliria, Orinda is stealingaway, go after, and
bring her back.Bel.I have ill Nature enough to break an Appointment, and I fancy here is
one.Wil. to Mar. I have that to say which it concerns you to know, favour me
but with an opportunity after Supper, and let Beliria know nothing of it.Mar. In the Garden I'le expect you.Wil. Ten thousand ages, till then, O Marina, do not fail me, my Heart will
suffer unspeakably if you shou'd.Mar. No more, take my word I'le be there.Enter Orinda and Beliria.Ori. O Jesu, sure Beliria you have lost your senses, who wou'd be seized
thus.Bel. Together, and so thoughtful, I see the growing eveil. [Aside.Sir. Am. Let me be nothing, Madam, if ever I saw any thing so killing as
your Eyes, they have Charms, my Heart never understood before.Mar. Yours is a general gallantry to the whole Sex, Sir Amorous.Orin. Lard, sir. Amorous, what a loss shou'd we have had, if you had made
the Campagne.Sir. Am. I must confess I staid in pure Charity to the fair Sex, to expose
them, by my absence was an inhumanity my heart cou'd not agree to.Mar. I fancy, Sir Amorous, you are very fortunate in Amours.Sir Am. Let me expire, Madam, if I have any reason to complain, but those
fair Eyes, makes me forget, every thing but themselves.Bel. I swear Mrs. Wildman, you talk pleasantly, come Marina, shall we not
be going?Mar. When you please; Orinda we must not leave you behind.Wil. You'l give me leave to wait on you to your Coach, Ladies.Wild. Sir Amorous, not so fast, come back, [Ex. Monet. Wild. Sir Am]
I've a word with you.Sir Am. Pax on you, let me go, I must wait upon the Ladies, 'tis such an
omission, that I shall never be pardon'd, nor deserve the Esteem of a
Gentleman amongst them.Wild. You may appologize for that anon, I call'd you back, to give you a
little Advice.Sir Am. Be sudden then, I cannot live, divided from Marina.Wild. The old fire, that flames upon sight of every new Face, but I design
for you another, who exceeds her in advantages, as much as you do all the
Play-house beaus in dress and Gallantry.Sir Am. No ill Comparison; Who is it? I dye to know.Wild. First then, she's prodigious rich, wears extravagant fine Cloaths,
and has the best way of putting them on.Sir Am. O, of all things, I love a Lady well Drest, let me be nothing, if
one that is other, does not look mean, and as if she were to be loved
according.Wild. Then she's Amorous, and will no doubt be presently taken with you.Sir Am. 'Pshaw, Pax, so they all tell me, I cou'd have hated her that part
of the Character, 'tis surfeiting.Wild. Her Fortune however, is enviting, if you apply your self to her,
she's rich enough to reward your labour.Sir Am. Let me expire, if thou dost not talk scandalously, i hope 'tis not
Matrimony thou hint'st at.Wild. Why, you're too much a Man of Mode, to make the burthen uneasie to
you; a Civil Husband, and so forth, is all that a Wife can rationally
expect from you.Sir Am. Gad, now I think on't, Cold Civility to a Wife, gives one a good
air, let me dye, if I cou'd be fond of an Angel that I was once Married to,
but to be seen abroad with her, were an extravagance, I shou'd never
forgive myself for.Wild. Or if it shou'd happen, once in an Age, I fancy, you you wou'd make
just such meen, as my Lord Stately, and his Lady, when they are together in
one Coach at Hyde-Park.Sir Am. Just for all the World, or let me expire, let me never breath, if I
have not been passionately in love with her uneasie Frowns, and even
ravish't to find during the whole Park time she

hadnot bestow'd one word, nor look, upon her Lord, even wou'd have sworn,
but by her Frowns, she had not known him to be so near her.Wild. Gad, I think he matches her, his lolling back in his Coach, without
glance or motion, speaks as much mortification as her sulleness, the best
we can conclude is, that they'r heartily weary of one another.Sir Am. Shew me that married Couple who are not, but then tehre's good
Management in those Affairs, as in all others; Is it reasonable to disgust
one self with a Wives Company, only to oblige the town with matter for
remark, let her take her Coach, and leave me the freedom of my Chariot,
I'le give her the Ceremony of the Glass as we meet, pass on and make no
uneasie reflections of the heavy load intail'd upon Mortal life.Wild. Besides, my Widow will set all uneasiness aside, and repair the
breach you have made in your Estate.Sir Am. The Campaign, the Campaign Charles, let me be nothing if I did not
loose baggage to the value of 1500 l. all my Dressing Plate, Wardrobe, and
Military Accoutrements, and was glad to secure my self at Breda, with only
the days Provisions upon my back, thou art my friend, to whom I may own
such Misfortune, let me expire, if ever I was in such a consternation since
I was born into the World.Wild. 'Tis now Eight a Clock; do you know my Lady Young-loves here in the
Square, any body will tell you the House, i'll meet you there at Nine.Sir Am. Adieu; i'll walk over the Park to my Lodgings, write an excuse to
an Expecting Lady, who does my Company the Honour to aigh for it, and then
I'll be certain to wait upon you.[Exeunt severally.Act IIIACT III. SCENE I.Enter Knowlittle and his Man Timothy.Know. Why truly Tim we have had but a sorry day on't.Tim. Indifferent, Master, besides those that came to inquire after Stolen
Goods; the Party that wou'd know the Cause why she did not conceive, paid
us notably.Know. Look out some body knocks, Tim.Tim. O Gemini, Master! 'Tis Mr. Smyrna, the Turky Merchant, and Madam
Olivia his Wife; I am very well acquainted with her Maid, Mrs. Phaebe.Know. Peace, we must not pretend to know them till the Stars have been
consulted: I'll to my Study, mind your hits, Tim and get what intelligence
you can.Exit.
Enter Smyrna, Olivia, and Tim.Smyrn. Where's your Master, Friend, I hope 'tis not too late to speak with
him.Tim. in his Study, Sir; I'll go and acquaint him with your being here; He
does not use to appear after Sun.[Exit Tim.Oliv. Lord, husband, you are the strangest Man in the World, what will
People think of you?Smyrn. What, Mistress, you'r afraid the devil should speak Truth, and
discover your Abominations.Oliv. The Devil's the father of Lyars, how shou'd he speak Truth.Smy. You are the Mother of Lyars, and that Cuckold maker Wild-man, one of
your vice Disciples.Oliv. Because you heard he courted me before I was Married, you think I
must needs be naught with him.Smy. No, no, very Good in your sense, I warrant; Naught, why thou art not a
Citizen's Wife for nothing; thou hast more grace I trust in the lord, than
not to think Cuckolding thy Husband a good honest Practicable Thing; those
are naught who do it so awkardly that the World is acquainted with it; nay
their very Husbands, who are always the last in knowing the favours that
are done them.Oliv. But sure, you don't believe, that an ignorant block-head of a
Fortune-teller, should speak any thing like Truth.Smyr. I'll tell you what I believe though, Mistriss, in my case of Enwuiry
your Ladiship can exceed all the Cunning men in England, and read our
fortunes to a Tittle; but the Devil in't, you wont make me as wife as your
self, but put me here upon unlawful means, the Sin will lye at your door,
Wife, you'd as good confess, and save charges into the Bargain.Oliv. If I should, I'm sure you wou'd not believe me.Smyr. The Devil take me then; Come be quick before Master Astrologer comes.Oliv. Lord, Husband, what do you take me for? Why, if it were so, do you
think I'd be such a Fool to confess.Smyr. No; thou'rt wiser o'my Conscience, but be sure you are as trusty to
other Folks; you Women have she Friends that you discover your failings to,
and that way the Secret comes about; 'tis for your Interest, as well as
mine, to keep the matter private, if 'twere but for the sake of preserving
your Lovers; they are squeamish amongst such a glut of Womens Flesh, and
are disgusted by that which has been blown upon; but see the Devil appears
to decide our Controversie.The Scene Opens and discovers Knowlittle behind a long table; Books, Globes,
Compasses, Pen, Ink, Paper, &c.Know. Is your business with me, Friend.Smyr. Yes, Mr. Knowlittle, I've a doubtful Question to be resolved,
therefore there's something by way of Encouragement, only whether my Wife
do me Justice, you understand me Friend; I'm plaguily afraid of being a
Cuckold, an ignorant Cuckold, Sir, for that's all; Pray consult the Stars,
that I may come to knowledge of my good Fortune.Know. We'll erect a Scheme, or as the Vulgar term it, cast a Figure, and
give you the Opinion of the Stars thereupon.Smyr. He's Conjuring; we shall immediately see the Devil in the Circle.Oliv. Are you so silly to believe it, he seems to be a sorry ignorant
Knave, that has more Will than Power to do Evil.Smyr. They say a Woman can out-wit the Devil, and I believe out-Face him
too-- Well, Mr. Knowlittle, have you done? What do the Stars say, am I
represented with Horns like Capricorn, with a certain Tall young Gentleman
in my figure, who does my Wife the honour to Love her, better than she can
her Husband.Know. Your Wife, Sir, looks like a good Virtuous Lady, and your Figure
speaks you to be a mighty dissatisfy'd Person, a little troubled in your
Brain with Jealousie; but either my Skill deceives me, or you have no
occasion for it.Smyr. How say you Master Knowlittle, do you like my Wife too? does the
Stars denote me for further Cuckold on, what encouragement do they give
you, to take her part for she's so bad, not one Devil in Hell dares do it
without a Bribe.Know. Is that one question all you wou'd have resolved.Smyr. Ay Friend, and I see 'tis more than thou canst do, thou art going to
convince me of the Vanity and Folly of all those who have helped thee to
deceive themselves.Know. How, Sir, do you understand my Profession?Smyr. O no, Sir, Your Profession is a very Learned Profession; but I much
doubt the Skill of the Professor.Know. Were it not for this Virtuous, Good Lady, I cou'd show you a Proof of
my Art wou'd make you tremble; yet verily it may be a means to acquit her,
how say you, Sir, if you dare stand it, I'll raise a Familiar to convince
you and protect your Wife near me.Smyr. Wou'd you frighten me into an Opinion of your Art, you that can't
tell a Man whether, or no, he's a Cuckold; I have no Faith in you, and
therefore dare stand the Worst.Knowlittle takes Olivia behind the Table and whispers her, turns over his
Books, uses postures of Conjuration, stamps with his Pen; then Tim arises,
dress'd like a Fury, with a Wand in his Hand, strikes Smyrna thrice over
the head with it, Olivia shreeks, Smyrna trembles, looks affrighted, and
sinks down as sueb in a Chair.Tim. From Hells' deep Center, hither am I come,
To warn thee, Mortal of thy heavy doom;
Thy Wife is Chaste, yet shalt thou not believe,
Thy Visionary Doubts, thy Mind deceive;
Therefore remain accurst, and may'st thou find,
Thy constant plague, in thy suspicious Mind.[Descends.Oliv. Mr. Knowlittle, accept of this Gratuity; my Husband faints! Lord, I
wish his fears have not taken away his use of Hearing, He'll never remember
what the Devil said to him.Know. Sir, Sir; How fares it with you?Oliv. Lord! How do you do, dear Husband? I'm frighted out of my Wits; I'll
never venture to the Devil again with you, you shall e'en go by your self,
next time for me.Smyr. Ay poor Wife; as thou say'st thou wilt, I believe, forsake me in all
Perils; but is he gone are you sure.Know. Gone; Yes Sir, what do you think; by vertue of my Art I can lay as
well as raise-- This 'twas to be incredulous, and undervalue the Mysteries
of Knowledge; I was forced to use extraordinary means to convince you: O
the Blindness and stony-heartedness of the ignorant.Smyr. Pray let a Coach be call'd-- I'm very ill-- but Master Fortune
Teller, your Skill in the Black-Art, shan't make me believe my Wife the
Fairer.Oliv. 'Tis the Capricio of all Old Men, Jealous of every thing that's
Younger than themselves.Know. Ay, poor Lady, Heaven endow you with Patience-- There's a Coach, Sir.Smyr. Is there, come Wife; good Night Friend.Know. Sir, your Servant; Madam your Servant: Tim. wait upon the Gentry to
the Coach.
[Ex. Smy. Oliv. Tim.
Verily this Evening has helped the Morning, and both together made a good
Day, few better.--
Enter Tim.
Now, Tim, thou didst it admirably.Tim. Ay, Master, did not I; He little thinks, that from my hiding place, I
over heard all he said; but how did the Habit set upon me.Know. As like the Devil cou'd be, every one in there way, Tim all Trades
have their Cheats, and this is to be said for ours, we do it with their own
consents.Tim. Ay, Master, better this than worse, every thing wou'd sain live, and
we do but our honest endeavours thereto.Know. Come, let's go in and pray, to morrow may but prove as good a Day.[Exeunt Omnes.SCENE II.Lady Young Loves House.
Enter Sir Rustick, Wildman, and Belira.Wild. To Morrow, Sir Rustick is the happy day.Sir Rus. Be-gad, I long for the sack-posset, and throwing the Stocking;
that was the Fashion when I was Married, and a good sociable one too; I
mean to make use of it still. He, he, he! I have bin telling her, how eager
all the young Fellows will be of hitting the Bride in the Face; but be-dad,
I hope I shall hit her better somewhere else; before George, I'll try to
get a Nap in this Chair, and Dream of to Morrow, before to Morrow comes.Bel. Sir Rustick is falling asleep over his Wooing. When we force NAture
beyond her self, she must return for a recruit.Wild. Be-gad Madam! You don't know what an Insipid Fellow I am this way; I
never Love taking fruitless pains: If I had not a real Inclination for you;
the Devil take me, I if wou'd pretend it: For where's the satisfaction of
dissembling; when that, which shou'd be a reward to our endeavours,
disgusts our Inclinations.Bel. You Men of the Town, never value a Woman for her self; 'tis only to
increase the Wretched number, tho' your selves are never the better for it.Wild. That's only seen amongst the Loose, Idle part of Mankind; who not
setting a value upon their own Reputations, think it no fault to Expose a
Lady.Bel. Well, not deisputing any further your Talent of Secrecy, what Security
can you give of your Sincerity?Wild. Your Charms, and the opinion of the World has of my Sense: Be gad,
wou'd you have a more undoubted one? If a Woman be very handsome, and meets
with a Man who has Wit enough to know and value it; the Consequence speaks
it self, and needs no Corroborating Evidence.Bel. Well, enough of this to Night; i receive you for my Lover, and as
such, you must do me what Service I desire. Wilmore and you, are mighty
Friends. Has he told you nothing of his concern for Marina?Wild. He's to Marry her Mother--Besides Child! I never care to hear those
sort of secrets, for fear they shou'd expect mine in return.Bel. However indifferent you are, I'll tell you one; tho' the Re-
port runs of to Morrow. Wilmore, must Marry my Lady Young Love privately
this Night, and if you please, you shall have the Honour of bestowing her
upon him.Wild. Your Commands wou'd make greater difficulties easie; but Pox, why
this haste, to bring a young Fellow into slavery? Does he know the Design?Bel. She carried him hence to tell him: I can't imagine how she'l bring it
about; for I fancy, one must be a good deal out of Countenance, to let a
young Fellow know, one has a mind to lye with him, one Night sooner than he
design'd.Wild. Ay, or desired; for if i were to be Mr. Bridegroom, that wou'd be my
Case always with an old Woman: But where is he now?Bel. Shut up with her in her Closet; if you'l stay a Moment, I'll go see
what's become of 'em.[Exit Belira.Bel. If we don't take care, this Gipsey will be too cunning for us all; Pox
take Sir Amorous; Where can he stay?Enter Isabel.Isa. Is Madam Belira here? My Lady Enquires for her.Wild. No child, she's just gone; but here's a Friend of yours wou'd be glad
to see you at my Lodgings.Isa. I assure you Mr. Wildman, you are mistaken in me; I wou'd not be a
Whore, if you wou'd keep me a coach and Six Horses, to tend me all days of
my Life.Wild. Nay, now I'm sure you lye.[Exit Isabel.
Enter Wilmore.Wil. Pox take all old Amorous Women; I stink of Petter as bad as her self;
I fancy it to be like our Perriwigs, that retain the scent of Tobacco,
after being in a City Coffee-House. Belira has told you.Wild. Yes, yes-- Have you seen Marina?Wil. Where shou'd I see her, in her Mother's Closet? Be-gad, you wou'd have
laught your self to Death, to hear her break the business to me. She was in
so good a Humour, that had I not wanted Witnesses, she wou'd have sign'd,
without consulting her Oracle, Belira.Wild. 'Tis pity, the Poor Lady shou'd be disappointed of a Husnamd; Sir
Amorous shall Marry her.Wil. But how? I don't think it feasible.Wild. We'll try to turn our Modern Comedy Plots into good, sober, earnest,
and make her Marry one for another.Wil. Impossible! Belira is her shadow, and not to be deceived. They stay
Supper for us; my appointment holds with Marina; the Musick will amuse the
rest of the Company; if possible, don't let Belira follow us.Wild. If she follows you, I'll follow her, I assure you, for I've talked my
self, into a kind of liking of her; but we must not leave the old Gentleman
behind us. Sir, Sir! How sound he sleeps? He's taking up his Rents before
hand, and providing for to Morrow Night, which he fancies will be no good
one of rest to him: They sray Supper for you Sir Rustick.Sir Rus. Supper, why, what's a Clock?[Yawns and wakes.Wil. Near Ten, Sir: Shall we wait upon you down?Sir Rus. I had rather you shou'd wait upon me up, Sir, a good Bed in my
Country is worth ten Suppers; but be-dad, I must not tell my Mistress so
till I am her Master. Come along.[Exeunt omnes.Act IVACT IV. SCENE I.Lady Young Loves House.
The Scene opens, and discovers Lady Young Love, Marina, Sir Amorous
Courtall, Wilmore, Wildman, Orinda, Belira. Song and Entertainment of
Dancing.L.Y.L. Where's Sir Rustick, that he has not honoured us with his Company?Wil. I left him taking a Grace-Cup with your Ladyships Chaplain. Mr.
Priest-Craft will be too hard for him, they are so used to their Sanctified
Wine they can swallow a large share of our unhallowed Juice of the Grape.
Be pleased to know my Friend, Sir Amorous Courtall.
[Exit after Marina.L.Y. L. As such I must ever value and esteem him.Sir Am. Your Ladyship's most Obedient Servant; let me Expire, if ever I saw
any thing so taking as your Ladyship's Civility.L.Y.L. Lard Sir Amorous! Do you consider whose in the Company? These young
Ladies will have reason to Quarrel at your Judgment, or rather I shou'd be
displeased at your insincerity.Sir Am. Let me expire Madam, if ever I saw any thing so ingaging as your
Air. O that Dress, that Dress Madam! The Devil take me if the Drawing Room
in all its Birth-night finery, can shew us any thing equal to it.L.Y.L. I wish I had but as good a Title to the rest of your Commendations;
but time was, when they might have passed upon me with less injustice.Sir Am. B-gad Madam, no time like the present: The Sun is not in his glory
till he is mounted to the Meridian, let me dye; if I can imagine your self,
cou'd ever exeed your self.L.Y.L. Lard, Sir Amorous, your'e extream Courtly! How unfortunate have I
bin till now, in wanting your Acquaintance! I never had so sudden an esteem
for any one. O! I Love a well bred Man, in my Soul --- Good Breeding --- There's
no Charm exceeds it. Pray Sir Amorous have you not bin abroad?Sir Am. yes Madam, I have setch't the Tour of all the Courts in Italy, made
some small residence in Spain, but their Gravity disgusted me, and
therefore made haste to pass into France, which had every thing that a well
bred Gentleman cou'd desire, either to Instruct or Entertain.L.Y.L. Lard, 'tis strange! I durst have sworn that very thing by your Air,
your janty, way of Dress, your Perriwig. Oh Jesu! How ravishing the Curls
fall to cover your Face, and leave us almost nothing besides to
Contemplate. Ah! how far you exceed all that ever I saw in the Art of
Powdering. Belira, don't you think Sir Amorous Dresses extreamly well?Bel. Undoubtedly, Sir Amorous, I beg your Pardon I did not see you sooner---
Heigh, this is Gallantry indeed! What a new Dress!Wild. The Devil take thy Foppery; was it for this, thou madest us stay for
thee?Sir Am. I had a Misfortune, just as I was crossing to my Lodging, a filthy
Carman dash't me most intolerably, a just reward for being on foot in the
dirty Street; I was forc'd to change my Cloaths before I was fit for this
shining Assembly.Orin. Sir Amorous, your most devoted, Admirer---Lard, my Lady Young Love,
did you ever see any Steenkirk have that Air? Never cou'd Madam, the
Princess de Conty, have hoped a Copy, so transcending the Original.L.Y.L. 'Tis all of a Piece, all Sir Amorous, in a word; all that can be
named, the fine Gentleman, the Courtier, the Something beyond all, the
Modern expressive word of Beau.Sir Am. Let me expire, if your Ladyship has not the best Judgement. is not
my Sword-knot extreamly fine and just?Orin. O, of a most ravishing length--- What is Fashion, for well bred
People, If, as Mr. Bays says; we don't top our parts?Wild. Your Ladyship's unacquainted with one Sir of Amorou's Excellencies;
he Dances to a Miracle, and carried it from all the Quality at the last
Court Ball.Sir Am. A Corant or Minuet, Madam, I am no higher Dancer: Will your
Ladyship do me the Honour of a Minuet?L.Y.L. Sir Amorous, I must beg your Pardon, if I share the Dance, I shall
lose the entire Prospect of your Perfon; Belira, if she pleases shall
oblige us.Wild. Nay, be-gad Madam, you shan't go till Sir Amorous has done with you.Bel. Eternal Impertinence, they are both missing, and undoubtedly
together. Sir Amorous, I'm not in Humour, and shall make but an ill Figure,
Orinda will do much better.Sir Am. Let my be nothing, madam, if she has not ten times more Chagrin in
her Looks than your Ladyship. I must not be refused.L.Y.L. Sir Amorous Dances in Perfection.[Dance.Wild. I told your Ladyship his Talent, I was sure you wou'd not find me in
a mistake.[The Dance done, Belira goes out. Wildman follow her.Orin. So slighting, she has Debauch'd him from me. O I can't hold my Muse!
Muse go Lament the Misfortune. For to Love is Noble frailty, but Poor fin,
When once we fall to Love, unlov'd again.[Exit Orinda.Sir Am. O your Ladyship flatters me, or let me dye! But to say what has bin
said before, Blows from hands so soft, who wou'd not bear!L.Y.L. Sir Amorous, you are a Judge of Decorum, and Decency; what say you
to walking in, and seeing the Bridall Bed?Sir Am. I'll follow your Ladyship through the World, but I shall expire in
seeing the place where my Happiness is to be Sacrificed.L.Y.L. O Jesu! 'Tis a thousand pities so pretty a young Gentleman shou'd
have an uneasie Moment.[Exeunt.
SCENE Changes to the Garden.
Wilmore, and MarinaMar. Grant, I dispense with that one Form of our Sex, disbelieving a Lover,
when he first tells us he is such; how can you avoid my Mother, or delay
her expectations? Belira, whose reasons I could not comprehend before; will
do all that's necessary to ruine our intelligence.Wil. If nothing else can secure me, your Denial must.Mar. Twelve Thousand Pounds is a Forfeiture too great to oblige an Enemy
with. I hear Belira's voice, she must not see us together.[Exit Marina.
Enter Belira, followed by Wildman.Bel. But why do you follow me?Wild. But why do you fly me?Bel. Marina shot that way. I see Wilmore at the bottom of the Walk, I have
business with him; oblige me, and leave us together.Wild. You Command me.[Exit. Wildman.
[Wilmore comes forward.]Wil. Here so late Belira?Bel. I come in search of you, the Bride expects you.Wil. To Night! It must not be.Bel. The same thing as to Morrow, the sooner 'tis over the better; for in
these cafes, our fears are the worst part of our punishment. Was not Marina
with you? She is wanted. Sir Rustick has drank himself into a Matrimonial
Temper, and Mr. Priest-Craft Swears twelve at Night, is as Canonical as
that at Noon.Wil. Belira, have you Loved me!Bel. Has not my Ruin told you?Wil. Then do you Love me?Bel. Yes, to see you happy --- But the Mask is off, and thou canst Cheat no
more, and I no more believe.Wil. You never Loved, but now abhor me.Bel. You reproach me with what I wou'd be; do not, do not rouze the Woman
in me, I wou'd be Calm to Night and see you Married.Wil. Rather see me Buried.Bel. Perhaps so --- Cou'd the remembrance of my Wrongs but sleep with thee, I
wou'd not Envy thee a quiet Grave.Wil. Farewel, we part for ever, I'll leave the Town this Minute.Bel. At least, Sir, if you will not Marry your self, but unkindly leave
your Bride thus in the longing Moment; do your Father the honour to grace
his Marriage.Wil. What have I done, that you shou'd wish to make me Wretch'd?Bel. What hast thou left undone to make me such?Wil. Your Reputation yet stands fair, and uless your own indiscretion
betrays you the Secret shall be such, with me for ever.Bel. But thy heart, Traytor, thy perjur'd Heart; tell me, how shall I get
it back?Wil. Never this way, I assure you.Bel. 'Tis given for gone then --- Go --- Live as Wretch'd as I can make you, I'll
think no more upon you.Wil. Where, Madam, are you going?[going.Bel. To a Wedding, Sir, Marina's Wedding; you say we must not Dance at
yours.Wil. Rather of the two Belira, but why to Night?Bel. All Bridgrooms are not as backward as your self; your Father has the
start of you, in desire as well as years, he is impatient of his Happiness.Wil. You are Peevish Belira; does your Love make you Jealous?Bel. I have none, the Moor has taught me better; no longer doubting, away
at once with love and Jealousie.Wil. Then 'tis Spite disturbs you: In what have I deserved it?Bel. Look in thy false perfidious Heart, and take my Answer thence.Wil. That speaks of nothing you can quarrel with.Bel. Then I will stay and argue with thee, how often hast thou told, thou
coud'st for ever Love me?Wil. I told you that I cou'd, not that I wou'd.Bel. Poor Caviller, those who can jest with Oaths, can play with Words ---
You'l come after and wish the Bride joy.Wil. We must not part thus, you were not used to fly my Arms.Bel. By all that's good, he has got the forry cunning of our Sex; just so
does a Wife when her Husband has caught her false, the gilting Creature
cries, Do you believe it Spouse? you do not use to be so unkind --- Ha, ha,
ha --- Let me Laugh, thou' 'tis maliciously; go on, I'm in the Vein of
Audience; let me hear some disagreeable Truths, and how well thou canst
turn Woman; Marina is at stake before you, do it handsomely; I wou'd be
fortified in my Aversion, and have my hate implacable.Wil. 'Tis Barbarous to insult, where you shou'd rather pity.Bel. I do, let all the World be judge else; nay, do more than Pity, I wou'd
prevent your Ruin, and stop the Passage up to your undoing, wou'd save you
from the Ills, nay, Scorns of Poverty, keep your Friends such, and put it
in your Power to be one by still Preserving you: The Worlds opinion, who
judge of Merit but by Fortunes Favours.Wil. We know the Extent of your Generosity : But serve me as I wou'd be
serv'd, Belira.Bel. I thought this was your way: I mistook you for him that was to Marry
my Lady Young Love--- But I'll go look for certainties within.[Going.Wil. Come back Belira, 'tis my last Call : I wou'd satisfie thy Womanish
Revenge, and let thee see me Curst by any other way than Fatal Marriage ---
Take my Sword --- Thy Malice can supply thy want of use, despight can furnish
strength, and too often thou hast found the way to my unhappy heart to miss
it now.Bel. Ha, ha, ha, in Love to dying! By all that's good, turn'd Hero : Your
Mistress, Sir, is much obliged --- Keep your Sword, it may be a Fortune better
worth than all your Fathers Lands; there's Wars abroad, you may employ it
in, 'twill keep your Wife from wanting here at Home.Wil. Am I indeed your Scorn, Proud, Fanastick Woman; thy liking was foul
Lust; not Love : That gentle name brings Happiness, but thou --- Let me not
think upon thee, for fear it force my Tongue to something worse, than
shou'd be said of Ladies; I've served it seems, as long as you cou'd like,
and now you chuse another.Bel. Wou'd it were come to that, I wou'd exchange thee, for
the last of Men, and think the Bargain Cheap, wou'd part with all that
goodly Form, for honest Ugliness, and think it fairer; thy Youth for Age,
and Doat upon his Doatage --- So in return I found but Truth mark well that
word, that word has Charms thou never knewest, and which out-weighs thine.Wil. Belira, thou hast power to read my Soul; thy Magick Spells are
irresistable. How hast thou found this Failing in my Vertue, which I not
knowing of, my Wants cou'd never miss till now?Bel. Thank my Wit, Natures best Gift --- I've seen your shuffling poor
designing Arts, to wave this Marriage and promote another. Your care too,
of Marina's Fortune falsly guided with the weak pretence of Generosity;
'twas not doubled thick enough for me: But because Doubts never shou'd
condemn the Man I Loved, I wou'd not seem to doubt till I was certain;
therefore no more dissembling, 'tis vain, Marina never shall be yours; and
if you cou'd not think it an unhappiness, I fain wou'd keep you mine.Wil. Give me this Night to think in, I'll promise nothing, but this: I'm
Grateful where I am obliged.Bel. To shew your Power, I will; my Lady Young Love through my persuasion
designed this the Marriage Night; I'll excuse you to her, but not one word
or thought of Marina, for in that Moment she shall be bestowed upon
another; I wou'd divide the World, rather than you shou'd meet; I hope to
Morrow, we may give you joy; this Night I find but little.[Exit Belira.Wil. Less thou hast left behind, O the curse of Lewdness! What Woman's Fair
after we find her Faulty? What Lady Innocent, when no longer Chaste? Or who
so vain to hope for Honour, or for Pity from that Soul who wants it for her
self?Enter Wildman.Wild. What I hear 'tis deferrd, there's no hopes of Posset. Belira has
dismiss'd me till to Morrow, she's gone to your Bride; by this time Sir
Amorous has supplanted you, he is shut up with her, and has impudence
enough to bid fair for it.Wil. They talk of Eating against ones Stomach, but no Surfeit is so
nauseous, as what I'm in danger of, Belira catch'd me in the Action; and
Faith, a sinner must have more impudence than I, who can deny matter of
Fact.Wild. Be gad, I have Pimpt to a fair end: What to let a Woman outwit thee?
How cou'd you once think of being Sincere to one, whose Interest runs
counter to yours? I would have dissembled as much Love as I had Aversion;
nay Counterfeited my first desires, and suffered her, to believe she had
preserved the Conquest of me now, that I might have Trumphed over her all
my life after.Wil. Very well, I am railed at on all sides.Wild. Thou hast this Moment in thy Face, all the Mortification of poor
Lenten Penitents, and lookst more akin to the Spirit than the Flesh. I
believe thou art not in the condition of Wedlock. Confess your Misfortune
to my Lady Young Love, I know no reason, why a man shou'd pretend false
Courage, when by it he runs himself into an inconveniencey, he might have
otherways avoided.Enter Sir AmorousSir Am. Faith, if lying, dissembling and flattering, can deserve her, I
have done it. After we parted, I underwent the Mortification of an Arrest,
which has the better fitted me for that of Matrimony; 'twas necessary for
me, to have just got out of the Baliffs hands, to be able to go through
with her, or else let me expire, if I cou'd have done it.Wild. But what's the Consequence, Sir Amorous?Sir Am. No more, than deferring the Marriage. The Duce take me if I don't
think it Exceeds all Hercules's Labours, to be able to perswade a Widow to
lye alone, when she is resolved to have a Bed fellow.Enter Ready.Wild. The next Affair shall be resolv'd in your Chamber, where I'll wait
Sir Amorous and you in a Minute.Wil. Nay if you wou'd be private, I'm discreet.Sir Am. Let me be nothing if he has not some melding Billet, I now it by
his very Air. Good Fortune to thee Charles.[Exeunt Sir Amorous, Wil.Wild. Reads, Hum! to Morrow Morning like a Phisician. Ready, where had you
this letter?Ready. Mrs. Phoebe brought it to your Lodgings. She says her Master has bin
at the Fortune-tellers, to Enquire, whether your Honour had made him a
Cuckold.Wild. I am sorry, the Devil cou'd not answer him in the Affirmative: She
writes me word that Symrna's sick with his fright, and that I may pass upon
him for a Physician; however, I believe my skill lyes most Olivias way.
Ready, go and knock up my Apothecary; borrow his Velvet Coat with the great
Gold Buttons. A few hard words, of Plebotomy, Purgative, Laxative, and I
shall be set up in my Profession,
and look like any Collegiate Doctor of them all----Why then, the Devil take
me if I don't go----Now the matter's brought to Perfection, I'll not fall
asleep over the Brazen Head, when it shou'd answer me. Yes.
I'll watch the falling of the Golden Shower,
And reap my Harvest in the shining Hour.[Exeunt omnes.Act VACT V. SCENE I.Olivia's Chamber. Olivia and Phoebe.Phoe. By my Troth, Madam, if all Ladies should follow your Example,
Solitude wou'd make them soon turn honest; and then where were the
Employment for Wit and Scandal? You need not be in such a Terror of my
Master, he sleeps as sound as a Top; and should Mr. Wildman come in the
Interim, we might introduce him to your Ladyship without his being the
wiser.Oliv. I hear knocking at the Gate; go see if your Master be awake. Why do I
tremble thus? I neither distrust my Vertue, nor his Care of it. Yet a
secret Guilt condemns me, because I exceed in Form. If the Shadow of an
Injury gives such Uneasiness, what do they suffer by Remorse who actually
offend?Enter Wildman like a Physician, Phoebe.Wild. My Life! my charming, bright, Olivia!Oliv. Alas, Mr. Wildman, these Transports are not my Due; you know I am
honest; neither my Husband nor you can make me otherwise: Therefore urged
by your Thousand Importunities, I have indeed sent for you, but 'tis to
forbid any more Billet Douxes, not one Love Letter more, as you hope to
have all those kindly received which you shall dispatch to your next
Mistress.Wild. You amaze me, Madam!Oliv. Secondly, no Corrupting Presents to my Woman; no attempting her weak
Vertue, in hopes to prevail upon her Ladies; for the first moment I suspect
it, I shall be offended at you, and send her packing, to carry you the News
of it.Phoe. I was afraid I should suffer as an Accomplice.Oliv. Thirdly, no extravagant Civilities to Mr. Smyrna; no returning cold
Affronts with fond Caresses; no carrying him to the
Tavern, and paying his Club there, as if that were to be the Price of his
Wife at home; nor vain Hopes of having the Proverb of your side, That
Cuckolds are kind to those who make them so.Wild. 'Twas something indeed, he was always so damn'd jealous of me; had he
had but the Title, I wou'd not have questioned the Benefit of the Proverb,
his Horns would have blinded him.Enter Doctor Pulse.Pulse. Madam, a good Morning to you.Oliv. My Husband's Physician unsent for! What's to be done?Pulse. I have been at Mr. Simpler's your Apothecary, who told me Mr. Smyrna
was taken dangerously ill; whereupon I thought it my duty to visit him: But
blessed be God he's in a fine breathing Sweat: When he has taken what I
shall prescribe, I hope he may be better.Oliv. Indeed, Dr. Pulse, he has had a very bad Night.Pulse. By his Habit, I should guess this Gentleman to be of the Faculty.
Pray, Sir, if it may be without Offence, what are you called? I do not
believe you to be of the Colledge; I never saw your Face before, to my
knowledge.Wild. My Business, Sir is with my Patients, and not to answer impertinent
Questions.Pulse. Cry you mercy, good Mr. Mountebank; a Stage I suppose is your
Occupation. Madam, since you have employed this Quack, e'en make use of him
for good and all. A lawful Consultation I should not have refused; and so
much good may do you with your Merry Andrew.[Exit Pulse.Oliv. I'm glad he's gone. Mr. Wildman, you know your Doom; we must part
upon't.Wild. Prithee, dear Olivia, have more good Nature: Do I deserve no Reward
for all my unwearied Hours of Love? No soft Compassion due for all I have
suffer'd? This mortifying beyond any thing.Oliv. They say Revenge is natural. For your Comfort then, you have yours
upon me, since I can't punish you, but I must share in't my self.Wild. Were that true, Olivia, you cou'd not use me thus. That Kindness you
once flatter'd me with, tho' it were but a Name, has now lost that. You
tell me., I am to be sacrific'd to your Vertue----but I'm afraid 'tis to
some more happy Lover.Oliv. Why, I have never enjoy'd you. If Love were my Business, might I not
find it with you? I never heard before, that any thing besides Possession
brought Satiety.Wild. Did you never stay so long for your Dinner, that your Apetite was
lost when you came to it? methinks I see you reasoning with it, then
surveying me---- And crying 'twon't do, is this the Treat I long'd for?Oliv. Your comparison might hold indeed, if you cou'd prove I had stay'd my
Stomach before I came to Dinner: but my Husband's no such inviting Dish,
and I can assure you, too provident, to allow me much variety.Enter Smyrna sick in his Night-Gown, led by Pulse.Pulse. He's a meer Quack, and so you'l say when you see him; if you make
use of him, he'l certainly be the Death of you.Smyr. Ay Doctor Pulse, not unlikely.Oliv. Oh Heavens defend me, here's my Husband! Lord Mr. Smyrna you have
affrighted me out of my Wits, my very Heart beats in my Body. doctor Pulse
said, you were all in a Sweat, and I'm afraid you'l catch your Death, by
rising in the Cold.Smyr. 'Twill be very well Mistress, if I find your Heart agree with your
Tongue. But what Quack have you brought me here----Nay, face about Doctor,
I don't doubt your Experience, nor Murdering by the Rules of Art----Mercy
on us----Ay marry Sir, this is like a Wife indeed---What, Mr. Wildman
turned Physician! Friend Pulse, you need never have troubled your head
about this business, my Wife meant to keep this able Doctor to her self;
this Gentlemans design lay in supplanting me, not you.Wil. Impudence must carry me through.
(aside.
Doctor, your Patient is certainly Distracted, a meer Frenzy has seized
him----Feel but his Pulse, ay he's fitter for his Bed than any place else;
I can't commend your Judgment is suffering him to rise in this desperate
Condition, let's force him back to his Chamber.Smyr. If I am mad, 'tis horn mad; you'd carry me to my Chamber, that you
might lye with my Wife in hers----Pray Doctor Wildman be pleas'd to march,
I shall be able to wait upon you down, and secure the Door after you. Be
pleas'd to lead the way without further Ceremony----I must own 'tis
uncivil, but I make bold by your own example, for I fear, you have bin more
than welcome, with a certain Acquaintance of yours.Oliv. 'Tis as I say, Doctor, retrieve your blunder or I am lost.Pulse. Never fear it, Madam.Wild. Brother Doctor, won't you assist me? The Gentleman's unruly, see how
he struggles. O Sir, if you did but understand your own good you'd go to
Bed, else you're a lost Man.Smyr. Pulse, Pulse, Friend Pulse, I say, will you let me be murder'd by
this Rogue, this Villain Wildman----I'm almost strangled, help,
help there, I say, I won't be carried from my Wife----Wife--- Wife---Where
are you? Pray Sir be satisfied, and think me Cuckold enough for the first
time.Oliv. O dear Husband, be perswaded and go to Bed, you look strangely wild.Phoe. Ay Master, if you did but see your self, what an altered Man your
are; bless me one wou'd not know you again.Smyr. Thanks to honest Whoring, Mr. Wildman----I always thought Horns wou'd
bring a strange Alteration.Pulse. Good Lord, what a Frenzy is this to mistake a Physician for a
Lover---- To bed with him, by all means, and let him have some Cooling
Tysans, and refreshing Juleps to allay the heat of the Distemper, perhaps a
little sleep may restore him----Your Hand, Master Doctor.Smyr. Nay, if you are in the same Song too, I must be mad indeed----When a
man is to be made a Cuckold, nothing can prevent it----But pray, let Master
Doctor with the Whoring Countenance be dismist.Phoe. He has never bin well since that Rogue of a Fortune-teller bewitch'd
him.Pulse. Nay, if that be his case, it may be beyond our art, Brother; best
send for some godly Divine to Pray over him.Oliv. That shall be my Care---- God restore him, Doctor Pulse. Phoebe, lend
him your Hand, he'l struggle: But we must prevail, 'tis for his good.Smyr. What's the Devil in you all? I am no more mad than any of you; only a
Cuckold and a little troubled at that Calamity; not further Frantick I
profess.Pulse. That's enough, of all Conscience. In, in with him.Smyr. Murder, help, Murder, Murder. [They carry him off strugling.Re-enter Wildman.Wild. I have enough of the sport, and had much rather see Olivia return.Enter Phoebe.Phoe. My Lady Sir, desires you would please to be gone, she's resolved to
stay by my Master for the better quieting of him----But don't let this
dishearten you, your affairs shall go better than they have done, or I'll
lose my Place, and my Reputation too.Wild. No, I'm at length convinc'd Olivias Virtue shou'd be rather
Cherished than Seduced, tho' I see whose ever Title we have to it, we can
be no more sure of Love, than Money; 'tis not ours till we have it in
Possession.[Exeunt omnes.SCENE IILady Young Loves House.SONG and MUSICK.To Love and all its Sweets adieu,To glittering Hopes, and glowing Fires;To Eyes that Swore she wou'd be true,And yield Philander his Desires.Those Dear, those faithless perjur'd Eyes,Those Fatal, sweet deluding things;The Shepherd now forgiving Dyes,And dying, mournfully he Sings.Kinder Death, than Cruel She,Haste, oh haste to set me free.Enter Sir Amorous, who throws down his Hat, unbuttons his Coat, crosses his
Arms, hangs down his Head, and walks despairingly; then enter Lady Young
Love and Marina.L.Y.L. They have given us but a Melancholy Song Daughter upon our Wedding
Day. None here but Sir Amorous! Lord Sir, what can be the reason of this
disorder? Jesu forbid, that so handsome a young Gentleman, shou'd have as
much despair in his Heart as Person ------------Marina, go and bid Isabel
be sure to mind what I told her.Mar. Yes, Madam.
Well done Mother, get as large a share of the Sex as you can, I'll not stay
to dispute your Title.[Exit MarinaL.Y.L. What don't you know me Sir Amorous--Bless me, what not answer me?Sir Am. Too well Madam----I know you as the cause of all my ills, the
glorious cause of my undoing.L.Y.L. Lord, my mind misgave me when I heard that mournful Song.Sir A. I must confess 'twas dull, unfit for Brides, and cou'd but dead your
thoughts.L.Y.L. But Sir Amorous, what is the real occasion of this Sadness?Sir Am. Let me dye, Madam, if your Ladiship does not ridicule my
sufferings, Have you forgot what I told you last Night; that and a thousand
times more lyes heavy on my heart today; and unless you resolve to see me
dead, you must not marry Mr. Wilmore--
He a Wretch insensible of all your Charms,
And who seeks his Happiness in anothers Arms.L.Y.L. He Lord, he's the Modestest Gentleman; so Civil he never prest for
the least Favour, no not for a Kiss; and that you'l say's but small one;
but when he cou'd not decently avoid it.Sir Am. A Wretch, is it possible Madam, that the Transports of a Man, when
alone, with so fine a Woman----Oh Madam! Were it but permitted me----But
why do I vainly meditate on any thing but Death!L.Y.L. Death, Heaven forbid: Indeed I am very sorry, I was not acquainted
with you, before things came to this extremity----But as to Mr. Wilmore, he
is so bashful, and so modest, Lord, you wou'd not believe any thing else in
him.Sir Am. All that a Rival can say, will be suspected: But say I clear'd it
to you, what then shall be my reward?L.Y.L. Indeed I shou'd be furiously angry to find him so cold only to me.Sir Am. If your Ladyship will let me wait upon you to the Garden, I'll
clear the matter to you.[Exeunt Omnes.
SCENE Changes to the Garden.
Wilmore, Belira, meets him.Wil. Do you remember, our last Discourse Belira?Bel. Can I ever forget any thing where you'r concern'd.Wil. Then I must tell you, I'm resolved to Marry where I best can like, not
for conveniency alone, 'tis sinful, and you, and I, and all must live to
dye.Bel. So godly one wou'd think your Time were come: You have forgot sure,
Marina is to marry your Father.[Sir Amorous and Lady Young Love appear absconding.Wil. She never will Belira, therefore if you have Loved, shew it in this
only proof, I ever ask't, and let me marry her.Bel. How dare you think the question, much less to ask it? I only live for
you, in hopes of you; and when those hopes are gone, I've done with life,
the heavy load will not be worth the bearing, the very thought has loosn'd
it, and I want pow'r to answer.Wil. No Tears Belira, we will be always Friends, your Honour shall be safe,
and you my chiefest care.Bel. What can pay Love, but Love? Marinas Arms will make you cold to mine;
nor can I stoop, to share your hurt. O yet consider! e're it be too late,
think on the Wreck, the ruin of our Fortune, the flowing Tides of Poverty,
that ruins all it covers; and lastly, think on an unhappy Wretch, whose
only fault is desperate Love of you.Wil. I've thought on all, and nicely weighed the Sense; the consequence is
this, I Love Marina, and rather than not marry her, wou'd be undone;
therefore if you can save me 'twill be Noble, and like the Love you
promised.Bel. What Generosity canst thou hope to find, where only injuries are
given? what suffering, tame, deluded Monster dost thou think me? My wrongs
have waked that Rage, which Wonder had be-calm'd, and I am now prepared to
dash thy hopes, and prove thee Traytor to thy vows and me.Wil. Be wise Belira! We live not now in those Romantick constant days,
where their first Mistress was their last. I had you once, and still esteem
you but Vows that are made in Love, are writ in sand: It's impossible to
recal a Lover's Heart, when once 'tis made a Present to another; shou'd it
return, 'twou'd sooner Love a third.Bel. Thou needst not seek for Arguments to kill my Hopes; thus I blow them
from me: Farewel for ever, both to thy Love and them; thou hast Lov'd me
little, but thou knowst me less: Vengeance is due to thy mistake; I only
live to wish, and hope to see it take your Minion: Love her as long as you
are used to Love a Woman, and then let want of Wealth and Liberty pursue
you: Be poorly Wretched, and Wretched Poor; and may you hate the cause as
bad as I do. Curse for her sake, the very name of Woman; yet think on me
and sigh for such a Friend--- But may not Friend be found, till scorned at
home thou seekest abroad, some Wretched Death unknown.[Going to Lady Young Love, Sir Amorous meets her.L.Y.L. What have I heard and seen Belira? Is it possible it shou'd be you?Bel. Villain, hast thou betray'd me-----Madam, I warn you from that Traytor
Wilmore,[Exit Belira.L.Y.L. Mr. Wilmore, I am sorry I was so long your pretence, Sir Amorous.
This discovery has done me mighty Service, and I am sorry I cannot express
my Gratitude to you.Wil. I have too justly offended your Ladyship, ever to hope Forgiveness: I
only beg your Anger may not fall upon Marina, she's an Innocent cause.L.Y.L. The Age is quite Debauch'd Jesu! who shall we trust after this?
Belira naught, and with modest Mr. Wilmore I an in such amaze, I can't
recover my self.Enter Wildman and Marina.Wild. What's the matter? I met Belira in a mighty rage, she ran to this
Ladies Chamber with a drawn Sword? 'twas lucky I was in the way, else she
had murdered her.Mar. I shan't recover the fright this month! Mr. Wildman has saved my life.Wil. He shall always command mine for it, but what's become of her?Mar. When she saw her self Defeated, she sent for a Chair, and went away in
it; I have not yet troubled my self to know where.L.Y.L. No 'tis no matter, since my House is rid of her. I shall take care
who I entertain a good opinion of again.Wild. Prithee Wilmore, no Chagrin. This was my Plot, I durst not trust thee
with it; and therefor advised thee to meet her in the Garden, I knew thy
soft Nature, wou'd not suffer thee, to Expose an ill Woman, tho' to make
thy self happy in a good.Wil. If you had, 'twou'd never have come to this; My Pity is due to an
unhappy Woman, who had never bin such, if She had not known me.Wild. You'l make Marina Jealous.Wil. I hope not, she wou'd not have me Barbarous.Enter Sir Rustick Good-heart.Sir Rus. Where are ye all? Before George the Canonical hour will be past;
yonder's the other Young Gentlewoman gone away Distracted.Wild. Sir Rustick, here's a new Scene of Affairs; Marina Swears, she has
more mind to be your Daughter than you Wife; and that 'tis better to Drink
Caudle by a young Fellow, than to be oblig'd to make it for an Old.Sir Rus. Be gad, I don't believe a word of this: You are not of his mind
Sweet-heart. Mr. Priest-Craft is ready to spoil your sport Sir, and begin
ours.L.Y.L. Indeed Sir Amorous, you have convinc'd me of the reality of your
Passion and were it not for the talk of the Town, you shou'd find me, not
so insensible as you might imagine.Sir Am. Let me be nothing Madam, if this unexpected Marriage will not put
them all out of Countenance and baulk their Spleen; they are prepared by
Mr. Wilmore's concern for your Daughter, to laugh at your Ladyship: Now
Wedding----Let me expire, if it wou'd not be a good way, to prevent his
refusal by yours, and before he asks you to make him happy with Marina, to
make me so in your self.L.Y.L. 'Twere a good Jest indeed, I think we must not spoil the
Conceit----But then, Sir Amorous, will you be constant?Sir Am. As your own Charms, which can never admit of a Decay.L.Y.L. Indeed, Sir Amorous, I have a Compassion upon your Sufferings, and a
just Resentment of Mr. Wilmore's Ingratitude: Therefore, will not you think
me quick;y won?---But Indeed my Charity to you is the chief Inducement;
therefore to morrow, Sir Amorous, if you please----Sir Am. To morrow will not prevent Mr. Wilmore: Give me leave to declare my
Happiness, and to hope you will immediately confirm it within.L.Y.L. Lard, Sir Amorous, you overcome me every way; I leave it to your
Discretion.Sir Rus. Before George, not I. Good Mr. Son, no coguing nor dissembling
with me: I love the Lady my self, and have her I will, or some shall smart
for it. My Lady Young Love, here's Felony, Conspiracy, and Treason against
you; they would cheat me of my wife, and you of your Husband.L.Y.L. That they will hardly be able to do; I have made my Choice, Sir
Amorous can tell you.Sir Rus. Hey day! Here's a fine juggling indeed! Before George, I don't
understand these London Contrivances. Shall I have your Daughter?L.Y.L. Sir Amorous, you rule me. Marina, I have too long, won be Bellaria's
Pretences, deny'd you the Affection of a Mother; but I'll make amends for
all, and leave you the Liberty of your Choice.Sir Rus. Nay then, before George, 'tis still well enough----Give me thy
Hand, sweet Mistris, 'tis a Match, Bedad.Mar. I am afraid, Sir you'll find me food for little, but to bring the
Addition of Jealousie to the rest of your Distempers.Sir Rus. That is in plain English, Madam, that you wou'd make me a
Cuckold----Wou'd you so?----Nay like enough, Bedad----Your Eyes have a
plaguy Lear that way----Hey!
[calls within there]
Bid Ralph saddle the Horses, and bring my Boots; I'll not stay to see the
end on't.Wild. No matter, let him go; as I take it, he has Sign'd. Wilmore, thou has
nothing to do now, but to make thy Claim.Wil. I have so true a Sense of my Villany to this Lady, that I dare not
address for Pardon, much more the unvaluable Blessing of her Daughter.L.Y.L. Sir Amorous has prevail'd for you, Sir. I forgive you, and have left
Marina the Liberty of her Choice. But might I perswade her, it shou'd not
be Belira's Lover, he has too many Faults.Mar. I'll take them all upon my self; and if your Ladyship would consent, I
should not think my self unhappy with Mr. Wilmore.Wild. 'Twill be generous, like yourself Madam; and shew the Town, the
little Concern you have for Mr. Wilmore.Sir. Am. Let me expire, Madam, if I can cease my Intreaties.L.Y.L. You command me, Sir Amorous. Take her, Mr. Wilmore; and if possible,
make amends for your Faults to me.Wil. This Goodness confounds me more----My whole Life shall be one constant
study to deserve your Generosity, and Marina's Kindness.Wild. Why so? matters are brought to Perfection. I find I am a Master in
the Art. But Begad, Pimping here, I have ruin'd my own Affairs with Orinda.
Will she not be at the Wedding?Mar. She keeps her Bed very ill, and has sent an Excuse; but I believe,
Belira's Absence will be the best Spell to draw her thence.Wild. That shall be my business, after the Chaplain has done his. I'll
visit, and perswade her to come and wish you Joy.Wil. I am impatient till you have the occasion. Sir Amorous, lead the way
with your Bride.Wild. I think Fortune has not one other Trick to disappoint you with; but
'tis best to take her when she's obliging, for such all People that are
going to be married think her.But Time will shew the Cheat, and you shall find
The Goddess is as fickle as she's kind.FINIS.